Trouble in Paradise
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Confront or let it go?

I had a feeling something was up. I snooped in my H's email and found exchanges between him and a friend in another state. There is flirting and general conversation. She's sent pics of herself to him and he refers to her as "Beautiful.". It upsets me that he talks to someone else and flirts with her. They've never met in person.

Should I confess the snooping and confront him? Or blow it off as just flirting?

Re: Confront or let it go?

  • Personally, I would confront him. There is no way I could let it go because it would drive me crazy, but that's just me. Good luck.

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  • Confront him. This behavior is unacceptable. Do not be meek about this.
  • srgwsrgw member
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    Confront and don't apologize for snooping.
  • You need to confront. It sounds like on line dating to me and that is infidelity.
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  • Confront and fess up.
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  • If you do confront him, expect lots of excuses and lies. If he is anything like my stbxh he will turn it around on you. If he blames you for snooping, you need to rethink your relationship. I'm just telling you from experience. I wasted too much time believing in the lies and excuses. Fast forward 7 years, I'm 8 months pregnant and getting a divorce. Trust your instincts. I wish I did.
  • I am all about open communication. If you feel that there is a bubble in the room, you need to pop it. Marriage is ALL about communication. If you don't talk to him about it, that bubble is just going to grow and grow and grow and then you're causing tension in the relationship. But I agree with PP, expect lies and a turn around. But I believe that in marriage, you are no longer an "I" you're a "we" and no emails are private, no texts are private... you need to hold each other accountable for your actions and be there for each other to talk out any issues that you're going through. I'm going through kind of the same situation right now, but my husband is texting a female co-worker and calling her kitten. I did confront him and he actually took it very well and admitted to being stupid for doing it. He begged for my forgiveness and I accepted. Hang in there girl. Maybe print the emails for evidence..
  • What she said and PPs. It's never just 'flirting'.
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  • I don't understand how you could possibly let this go and forget about it.

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